But instead the Thursday before Good Friday I got sick. And now, three Fridays later, I'm still battling this sickness. I've gone to multiple doctors and with a few tests in the next couple of weeks, I'm hoping to find some answers. And as the sickness carried on from what seemed like a stomach bug became something more serious I wondered just how long it would take for me to feel "good" again.
And two hours away from me I hear the cries from a courtroom. The prayer of hope. And the desire for truth to prevail. I anxiously wait for the text...the text of prayers answered...the movement of something that's been so stagnant and so under enemy territory. But the text doesn't come and another month carries on and I wonder again how any of this "good."
And halfway across the country, a little girl is fighting for her life. What seemed like a simple sickness one day turned into a seizure and a cardiac arrest and is now fighting for her life surrounded by her family. This little girl who is such a warrior and has fought through so many heart surgeries and battled through so much. This family who loves so fiercely and so freely and so beautifully...who is such an amazing family. And as I watch them surround their daughter and sister's bed, my heart is literally breaking because this is the farthest thing from "good".
But I'm wondering... maybe our view of "good" has been clouded by the lens of this world. The world tells us that it's only good when classes are easy, best friends are around you, and your dreams are being filled. The world tells us that when we're happy and healthy we're blessed. When we post our bible studies on Instagram and spend afternoons in cute coffee shops with cute little friends. But is that really good?
As I've texted with my friend, the sister of the little girl who is fighting, I've sat in my room sobbing. I've been in her shoes. twice. Wondering...waiting...and crying out to God. And as I've spent the last three weeks in this dorm room I'm learning. I'm learning what "good" really is.
Missing this laughter filling our house |
As followers of Jesus, we're called to see our life through a heavenly lens. And the standards and the perspective from eternity are so much different than the standards of this world.
Maybe when our hearts are breaking and life feels destroyed, is really when Jesus steps in and becomes the good. When nothing here in our lives on earth seems physically "good," maybe that's when we start to fully rely on the Lord to be our hope... to be our strength... to be our joy.
And maybe when we do that? maybe we draw closer to the Lord than we ever have before. Maybe when everything you thought brought you happiness is stripped away... you find a pure and unrelenting joy in Christ and in Christ alone.
And suddenly life is good. So good. So much better than you could have ever asked for. And not because your dreams are suddenly fulfilled or your sickness suddenly disappears but because you are emptied of the world and filled with Him and Him alone.
On my lowest days. When sickness clouds my view and texts remind me of how many are fighting for their lives, I open my closet door.
And there taped to the door are the prayers, the verses, the times I poured my heart out to God on paper, and the written praises of answered prayers.
It's my war room of sorts...the battleground for this war. Because it's a daily battle to get out of bed and see the good...it's a daily battle to choose deep lasting joy over temporary happiness from worldly items...it's a battle to choose hope when surrounded by despair.
But life is good. It's good because we know who's on the throne and we know who's in control.
It's good because of Him. Because he gave up His life so we could have abundant life. Abundant life on the emptiest of days.
So Happy Easter friends... I may be three weeks late, but may we never stop celebrating the overwhelming goodness found through Christ and Christ alone.